The Hoyer Dictionary- Part the First

Kurt: "Oliver, he needs medical attention!"
Lillian: "How do you even know that phrase? And why does he need medical attention?"
Kurt: "He needs medical attention because he needs to be petted! Quickly, pet him!"

Opening up with this quote from this morning, I will give my readers a little window into some of the words and phrases that the Hoyers may say that any uniformed parties might be very confused with. We will start with:

"Yeah, right, just like those Russians are all bald and can't swim".
This is a another way of saying: 'Yeah right, just like pigs fly.' I can only claim partial credit for this one. Some time ago, I made the sweeping statement that ALL Russians are bald. I had seen a few pictures, like of presidents and such, and they always were bald. The swimming part was contributed by Gabe a few months later.

"Its time to do your dootys."
What are dootys? It is a corruption of the word duties made in the movie Nacho Libre (which, by the way, is very funny). My dad will often use this phrase when it is our turn to let the dogs in or feed them or do our chores.


"Guess what?"
"Chicken Butt"
"Guess why?"
"Chicken thigh"
"Guess when?"
"Chicken pen"
"Guess who?"
"Chicken Poo"
Yes, we didn't invent these (except for chicken pen), but any time someone says Guess what or why this phrase will come out.

So now you are at least partly prepared for anytime the Hoyers may say these things

Gretchen

New Year

Quilting a Life

Believe it or not, we all make a quilt. Just one. You start out with a pile of fabric. Everyone's fabric is different, some have bright floral prints, others a demure tan stripe. As you go along, you cut the pieces, begin to see how it'll shape up to be, but you can never know for sure. You finish cutting, throw away the worthless scraps, the ideas that didn't turn out as you planned. You plunk down at the machine. Most people follow a pattern, but some just go out on a limb, don't follow anything anyone else has done, and hope for the best. And you start the 'exciting' part- the part you were waiting for the whole time while you were preparing-learning to sew, cutting each piece. You sew.

Some days, you sail along fine. Each block is nearly perfect, you nearly burst with the pride of achievement. Some days, you unpick stitch after stitch, and despair of ever doing it right. Some days, you feel you shouldn't even get out the machine at all.

Finally, you finish. You step back and see your finished quilt for the first time.

Your done. There's no going back, and the Judge is about to see it. Will He see a tangled mess of thread, bizarre fabrics in a lurid green? Will he see vibrant fabrics that, poorly executed, clash against each other and bunch up in some places? Or will He see a lovely creation, a colorful quilt made from trial, error, hard work, and sweat?

Everyone lives once. You get one quilt to make. What will yours look like. Will it win the prize, or be rejected, along with you?

Gretchen

Sacremento Roadtrip

Last Friday we went to Sacramento. Well, not really Sacramento, but in the mountains about an hour from Sacramento. We stayed with some friends who had a beautiful house right next to two lakes. It was really nice. Living in SoCal can really get to you, you forget the feeling of fall, a soft breeze and a promising smell. I took several pictures of the smaller lake. (as you can see, and this isn't even close to them all.) And there were geese- not very nice geese. They honked and hissed whenever you came close and acted like they would bite you. But in the corner of the photo there are two smaller birds with brown backs, those were like a married couple.

The bigger lake was a swimming lake, so we could wade in it. There was one part that was sandy, the rest was thick, black mud. Oh, the noises mud can make. We must of tromped through that sludge half a dozen times just to feel it squish through your toes. There were some tadpoles in the lake. Lots of tadpoles, especially in the muddy shallows. Nicholas and Lillian got feisty and through mud at each other- Nicholas filled Lillian's Crocs with mud.

'Lake' is one of my favorite words. It reminds me of fresh breezes, quiet, and relaxation. These lakes didn't disappoint. Sure, we all needed showers upon returning. But being out in nature is like getting to recharge your batteries (as long as you don't get too dirty-then it's just obnoxious). And it's fun.

Gretchen

The Cutest Dog Ever!!

A few months ago we got a new puppy: Mollie. She can be disobedient at times, but is so cute it's hard to discipline her. My sister and I had been pushing for a new dog to be a friend for our other dog, and I found Mollie on Craigslist. She's a now just turned one year old mini-beagle, which means she's a mix between a normal sized beagle and a teacup beagle (didn't know there was such a thing? I didn't either) so she's smaller than other beagles.

We had seen a few other candidate Hoyer dogs in the past couple months, but the first one was a golden retriever with long hair, which my Mom didn't like, and plus the owner wanted her to go to a different family. The second dog completely ignored us and was just interested in our black lab, Oliver.

The third dog we saw was Mollie. Mollie's previous owner was one of those people who think their dog is their child, and so, when we got her, she was a bit spoiled. She came with numerous toys, two different colored collars, and a special blanket that her old owner knit for her. We had to partly potty-train her and try to train her to sleep in in the mornings.

Okay, funny story now. Mollie was having some stomach problems obviously, which led to me having to clean her and the crate off at 7 in the morning. I had tied her to the outside fence so she wouldn't run away when I sprayed her down with the hose. I started to wash her and she freaked out and ran around my legs, trapping me and the hose, which was now stuck spraying me all down my pajama pants. While I tried to get untangled I must of looked a sight, muddy and wet and mad while Mollie had her leash wrapped around me.

232 Things You'd Never
Think You'd Be Doing
#2- Getting sprayed in the face by
your own hose and you were
trying to wash your
filthy dog.

It's funny stories that make having a dog that would take revenge on you worthwhile.

GRETCHEN

Hello to My Blog!

Here is my new blog. I hope you like it. Firstly, I'd like to start this:

232 Things You'd Never Think
You'd Be Doing:
# 1- Dusting the Floor Cause
You were too lazy to get the
broom out again.